Month: August 2016

What Do Women Really Want?

What do women want?

Alan Pease said “Men give love to get sex and women give sex to get love”   Or is it the other way around? What do women really want?

Many men tell me they would like to “understand” women, how to please them, pleasure them and “make” them orgasm and enjoy sex.

Women often just need to feel loved – in many different ways – by words (I love you), touch and stroking, gifts (chocolate, jewellery, flowers, being pampered), quality time (going out to dinner or a show) or being of service (good surprises or doing special unexpected things that they like).

Women show their love to a man by preparing good food, doing housework, creating beauty and harmony.

Honesty and trust are important to both sides of a relationship, to enhance your love. Forgiveness is an important aspect of a loving relationship.

foregiveness is the fragrance that flowers give when they are crushed
Forgiveness is the fragrance that flowers give when they are crushed

It’s all about loving her like a goddess

Jaded by men who had deceived me, one day I met a sexy Scorpio woman at a spiritual meditation group in Sydney. She invited me to see ‘The Vagina Monologues’ with her and afterwards she invited me to her place ‘for coffee’. We enjoyed a nine-month relationship together, during which I learned many things about a woman’s changeable mood and shifting feelings, both physical and mental. I learned, explored and discovered many different ways of pleasuring a woman, such as gently scratching her back, nibbling her neck and treating her like a goddess.

Women love to be romanced, handled as gently as the petals on the roses you give them. She loves to be honoured as a goddess – some examples are gifts, dinner, dancing, asking permission, stroking gently with feathers as well as wild passionate sex!

What drives her crazy with desire one night may be ineffective the next night, so you need to learn lots of different ways to please her! If all else fails, just ASK her what she wants! It’s SO much easier than trying to guess.

Learning about and loving her anatomy

Yonis are like precious flowers. They need to be handled gently as they can be as fragile as the woman who owns them. They are beautiful and need to be adored. They are powerful and need to be respected. They are unique and need to be desired.

Yoni-flowers copy
yoni flowers My Tantra Massage

Too often we make love in the dark and don’t look at each other’s genitals. It’s a wonderful experience to explore another person’s body with soft lighting and look at their genitals with respect, wonder and awe. What an amazing creation!

What is making love? It’s what a woman does when a man is bonking her…
Allan Pease

The Ultimate Pleasure

What do women want? They want to be teased; to be breathed; to be respected in this present moment of now; to be touched, stroked, tickled, held and made love to, sometimes slowly and gently, sometimes hard and fast; and to have connection, rapport and intimacy. They want to feel safe to be vulnerable.

What do women really want? Amore, more love, that sweet euphoria, the indefinable feeling of union with her lover, her mate, her soul and the divine. To be cherished and cared for, protected, pampered and loved – physically, mentally and spiritually, body, mind and soul – totally.

LOVE

What does your lover want? Do you really know? If you do know exactly how to pleasure her, is there more you can learn? Does she even know all the ways she likes to be pleasured?

Do you still want to make love no matter how long you’ve known each other? Do you want to try something different? If you want to deepen your relationship or re-ignite the spark, Tantra is a wonderful way to do it!

This was taken from my ebook “What Women Really Want”

My book “What Women Really Want” is now available from Amazon HERE

Contact Ally for more information about Tantra

Dive deep into a Love that is beyond relationships
What do women want?

Your soul is so close to mine – that what you dream, I know – I know everything you think of – your heart is so close to mine.  Rumi

LOVE

Yoni Pillow

Yoni Pillow is used to show anatomy of yoni (or vagina, or pussy). It is like a puppet and has pockets at back and also a pocket in the front for fingers to feel.

Ally often uses this Yoni Pillow to educate women and men about the parts of the yoni – clitoris, inner and outer labia, lips, clitoral hood, G-spot and cervix, and illustrate how and where to find them.

Yoni massage details in my book – “What Women Really Want: 6 Tantric Sex Techniques for Men and Couples” available HERE and also how to do it HERE.

yoni pillow Ally
Ally’s yoni pillow – My Tantra Massage Adelaide and Australia

Here is my Yoni Pillow – I lost it for a year or so, and finally found it yesterday!!

Ally's Yoni Pillow found 2017

Yoni Pillow availability

Available from Laura Doe HERE

Here is the product description: “Each Vulvalicious® Cushion is an anatomically accurate fabric art piece approximately 40×40 cm (16×16 inches).
The following female arousal structures are represented in a realistic tactile form: 

  • The vulva ( the inner and outer labia and clitoral hood)
  • The extended clitoris, vestibular bulbs and perineal sponge
  • The vagina, G-spot and cervix
  • The urethra, greater and lesser vestibular glands, perineum and anus.

vulvalicious yoni pillow

How a 3D clitoris will help teach French schoolchildren about sex

Paul Verlaine celebrated it in his 1889 poem Printemps as a “shining pink button”, but thanks to the sociomedical researcher Odile Fillod, French schoolchildren will now understand that it looks more like a hi-tech boomerang. Yes, the world’s first open-source, anatomically correct, printable 3D clitoris is here, and it will be used for sex education in French schools, from primary to secondary level, from September.

From Fillod’s sculpture, pupils will learn that the clitoris is made up of the same tissue as the penis. That it is divided into crura or legs, bulbs, foreskin and a head. That the only difference between a clitoris and a penis is that most of the female erectile tissue is internal – and that it’s often longer, at around 8 inches.

“It’s important that women have a mental image of what is actually happening in their body when they’re stimulated,” Paris-based Fillod says. “In understanding the key role of the clitoris, a woman can stop feeling shame, or [that she’s] abnormal if penile-vaginal intercourse doesn’t do the trick for her – given the anatomical data, that is the case for most women.”

“It’s also vital to know that the equivalent of a penis in a woman is not a vagina, it’s her clitoris. Women get erections when they’re excited, only you can’t see them because most of the clitoris is internal. I wanted to show that men and women are not fundamentally different.”

3D-printed-clitoris-3
3D clitoris – my tantra massage

Fillod had been working with Toulouse-based V.Ideaux, creators of an anti-sexist web TV series, to create a modern sex education video when it struck her that the clitoris was never presented correctly in school textbooks. This catalysed her to develop her 3D model at the Fab Lab, of the Cité des Sciences et de L’Industrie in Paris.

Fillod’s 3D clit has come in the nick of time. This June, Haut Conseil à l’Egalité, a government body monitoring gender equality in public life, published a damning report on the state of sex ed in France. The report revealed that sex education is rife with sexism. Current official guidelines state that young boys are more “focused on genital sexuality”, while girls “attach more importance to love”.

Clitoris activism is hot in France right now. The feminist group Osez Le Féminisme has been vocal in combatting the silence around it since 2011. While in Nice, a group of sex-positive feminists, Les Infemmes, has created a “sensual counter culture” fanzine called L’Antisèche du Clito or The Idiot’s Guide to the Clit. There are funny drawings of “Punk Clit,” “Dracula Clit” and “Freud Clit”, as well as facts about the organ.

Meanwhile, jeweller Anne Larue has created a bronze clitoris pendant in conjunction with Les Infemmes artist Amandine Brûlée. “The clitoris has been the hidden, shameful organ for so long,” says Larue. “My necklace brings it to the light of day.” She reassures that the more timorous should not be worried about wearing it: “For the uninitiated, it looks like an octopus or a neolithic goddess.”

The Australian doctor Helen O’Connell is often credited as being the first person to show the complete anatomy of the clitoris to the modern world in 1998. In fact that achievement belongs to LA-based activist-artist Suzann Gage, who realised, while looking for images of the clitoris to illustrate a book called A New View of a Woman’s Body in 1981, that her best information came from medical textbooks of the 1800s – when anatomical drawings were done from cadavers. So images of the clitoris might have existed for a long time but, on realising that it played no direct part in reproduction, the medical profession chose to ignore it.

Fillod has hopes that doctors as well as school teachers, will use her sculpture to learn – and teach – the truth about the female body. “France has the reputation for being sexually sophisticated, but often it’s about male sexuality.” However, she is optimistic about the future. “Understanding that they have an erectile system just like men, I think women will start to experiment more. They will understand that pleasure is not some magic that only a partner knows how to give.” END

I hope this education becomes available in Australia and New Zealand schools also.

Yoni diagrams

Yoni pillow illustrates these parts of woman anatomy:

WWRW MTM 01 female clit legs WWRW MTM illustration 05 side view clit

The Magic of Breathing

Conscious Breathing is a good skill to have. Awareness of your breathing helps you control your state of mind, release anxiety, and tune in to your body.
If you don’t breathe, you die!

Pranayama

just breathe - conscious breathing - my Tantra massagePranayama is a Sanskrit word meaning “breath control.” The word is composed from two Sanskrit words: prana meaning life force (noted particularly as the breath), and either yama (to restrain or control the prana, implying a set of breathing techniques where the breath is intentionally altered in order to produce specific results) or the negative form ayāma, meaning to extend or draw out (as in extension of the life force). It is a yogic discipline with origins in ancient India. (Wikipedia)

As you become aware of your breathing, you can “play” with it:

  • Colour your breath – imagine your breath is coloured, coming into your body through your nose, down into your lungs, circulating through your body and going out through your mouth
  • Count your breath – breathe in for 3 counts, hold for 3 counts, exhale for 3 counts. And vary it for longer or shorter
  • See your breath – imagine the rainbow colours of your chakras as you breathe in and upwards through each of them and see the colour go out of the Crown Chakra at the top of your head
  • Feel your breath on your lips and nose as you breathe in and out
  • Hear your breath – make a sound when breathing out – a sigh, a moan, om or a hum. Or repeat an affirmation (I love myself) or mantra (Om mane padme hum)
  • Control your breath – both holding your breath in and holding it when breathing out.

Conscious Breathing – exercise

Moving energy around your body with your breath and awareness is the most important part of Tantra and control. Take this exercise nice and slow, allowing yourself to breathe in and out a few times at each stage. Be careful not to strain. If you feel dizzy or light-headed, just breathe normally for a while.

  • Start by becoming aware of your breath, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth.
  • Feel the gentle touch of your breath on your lips, and the tip of your nose, as you breathe in and out.
  • Taste the air on your tongue when you exhale through your mouth
  • Tune into the feeling of the inside of your nose as you breathe in – the hairs, the space, and your nostrils.
  • Let your breath become deeper, and begin to allow yourself to make a sound as you breath out. Vary the exhaled sound, eg ‘aah’, ‘mmm’ or ‘um’, louder or softer, sweeter or growlier!
  • Imagine that you are breathing in to your genitals and breathe out towards your fingers and toes.
  • As you inhale, feel fresh new energy coming into your body. As you exhale, imagine you are releasing old energy, thoughts and worries.
  • Experiment with holding your breath after you breathe in, eg inhale to a count of three, hold for three, exhale for three. As long as you keep it flowing.

a kiss and breathing can unite unite 2 souls