Touch with intention can communicate intimate feelings and love.

Touch is vitally important to humans. Without it babies fail to thrive and grow.

The sense of touch connects us, grounds us. It can scare us when unexpected and it can thrill us when we feel safe and welcome it eg welcome hug from a friend, lover or family member.

Animals

It is nearly always OK to touch domesticated cats, dogs and horses. Most domesticated animals seem to relish being touched, stroked and played with. Cats purr with the affection they need, then walk away when they have had enough cuddling and loving. Babies, parents and children are happy to be held, hugged and stroked.

Body

When touching ourselves, it is love. Loving yourself is looking after your body – washing it, cleaning it, brushing hair and stroking moisturiser, deodorant or oils on your body. Or getting someone else to do that! Like a hairdresser, bodyworker or healer.

There is so much fuss about inappropriate touch in the work place, which can often be innocent. However the rules are there to help protect both men and women so that they can feel safe. But it often creates separation and division between people, leading to lack of trust and feeling the need to create more protection.

Cuddles and Sensual Touch with consent

There are several ways for adults to give and receive safe, sensual touch and cuddles. Cuddle parties were created so that people could meet and touch within agreed limits and boundaries.

Tantra sessions are often sensual erotic experiences without being sexual. Workshops and seminars with participants choosing safe consensual touch proliferate. How far would you go to get some loving touch?

Dancing

How can we have safe platonic touch without a sexual agenda? Learning how to dance is a good way to exercise, gently, and give and receive safe touch. As you learn about harmony of music and teamwork of partner dancing, the “side effects” are that you also gain confidence and make new friends. It is unconditional love in action.

Hugs

Hugs are another way of asking for and receiving close touch. Lovers always embrace, caress and fondle. Family members hug each other. I always love the feeling of joy of connection when my father gave me his enveloping gentle bear-hug! Mothers hold their babies and children and stroke them with motherly love.

Intimacy

How do you express intimacy? By looking into your lover’s eyes. Many experiments have shown that at the end of four minutes of silent uninterrupted eye gazing, even strangers can feel closer to the person they are looking at! Eye gazing is a powerful way to connect and create intimacy. If you hold hands as well, your energies combine and create a circle.

Kisses

Kissing is another form of loving touch. Just a brush on a hand or forehead, a welcoming double cheek kiss, or a passionate full-on-the-mouth kiss often communicates a feeling of love between two people more deeply than words.

Massage

If you like to be touched all over, with agreed boundaries, then go and have a massage. It can be firm, hard and remedial, or soft, gentle and relaxing.

Ask permission from a close friend if you can give or receive safe hand stroking or loving face stroking. Feel that person’s face with your eyes closed. Put your love into your fingertips and stroke them with your love. Receive their love by breathing it into your heart. Sometimes you can receive a fulfilling feeling of connection and completeness. Is this love?

Love

Self love can be as simple as touching yourself with loving intention – brushing or combing your hair, washing and drying yourself in the shower, positive self-talk when you look at your reflection in the mirror. Feel good about yourself and you can love yourself more. Take a breath and focus on your body so that you are aware of feeling the love inside your heart, as you touch your chest with your hands.

Touch someone else’s heart with your hand, while they hold yours at the same time, feel your breath together and your hearts beating together. Feel the joy and happiness of your connection, and appreciate your sense of touch.

So next time you touch someone you love – deliberately put all your loving feeling into the touch, caress, hug, or kiss; and feel the connection of giving and receiving coming back to you in a circle of love.