I used to think that sexuality and spirituality were at the opposite ends of the spectrum. Tantra brings them together. It adds another dimension to sex, changing it from a purely physical act to something beyond.

Tantra combines awareness, mindfulness, meditation – bringing trust respect and love – with the connection of breath and energy of two people.

Changing the scenario of one person wanting sex and the other “putting up with it” or one being hyperactive and the other too tired, using tantric awareness of breath brings  your energies into balance and harmony.

As in yoga and martial arts, body awareness is also important in tantra. Awareness of your body, whether tense or relaxed and exploring your partners body and your states of arousal are important. Knowing how to turn YOUR SELF on, with breath, physical movements and mind power means that you can control your sexuality – to turn it on or make the feelings stronger. Tantra gives you keys to do this easily.

Sounds are a simple way of communicating – breathing aloud, moaning, cooing, aums, giggling, your loving feelings to each other. Silence in sex can be frustrating, so ask your partner what they would like (before or during). Communicate what you would like to do, to receive, as you feel in the moment. Keep it positive!

Or set up a scenario – role play, dress up, act a fantasy out. It can be a surprise spontaneous by one person for the other, or a planned scene by both of you together. If you know she wants to act out “50 Shades of Grey” scenario, get some clothes and appropriate gear and surprise her. If he wants to bring in his strong Warrior identity, she can set the scene and you both unfold a co-creation together.

Start your tantric session with a short meditation, a simple dedication to each other. Use candles and incense to set the scene for spiritual tantric sexuality. Honour your partner for the goddess she is, and respect him for the wonderful loving man that he is.

One at a time, tell the other some positive things about them, how much you love them, one person speaks and the other listens. Then thank each other and say what you would like to receive in your tantric lovemaking. Then make sure you give your partner what they ask for, with love and respect.

Afterwards, when you are basking in the after glow, give positive, honest appreciations to each other. How much you enjoyed it – the expected and unexpected aspects of your lovemaking. And give thanks to the Great Spirit, to Source, or whatever name you give to that which connects us, to the Allness of Being, that joins sexual and spiritual together in us.

Tantra is an interconnected combination of sexuality and spirituality

Ally

2014