Sex Secret Connection
Both men and women tell me they haven’t had sex or made love with their spouse for 6 moths, 12 months, 2 years, 5 years…
It is so sad that people who love each other and have a wonderful sex life and then something happens and it’s gone. Something kills the desire and after awhile you could feel that you don’t “need” sex or love making.
How did you reconnect and reignite that desire for your lover?
- Go back to the beginning of relationship and talk about it. What attracted you to your partner when you first met them? Tell them. And ask them what first attracted them to you? Talk about your first date, your first kiss, your first lovemaking. What was special?
Why you still together?
Rekindle that spark of love that grew into a fire and kept burning for so many years. If your children are grown up and left you need to rediscover your partner.
Everyone goes through changes. In teenagers, testosterone and progesterone hormones are strong stimulants, however as we mature they change many peoples’ desires. And in some couples one person, usually the man, maintains a strong need for release from sexual tension.
Women’s desires often decrease after childbirth and child care because they put so much time into mothering and nurturing.
So how to rekindle the passion and connect with your lover? - Plan a date night, flirt with each other by text or phone or love notes (under her pillow, in his pocket). Give surprise gifts for no occasion.
- Plan a “dirty weekend” away. Ask her what would she need to happen to make love? Ask him to give you a gentle massage. Tell him how you really like to be touched, kissed, licked and stroked. Tell her and show her how you like to be stroked on your lingam – fast or slow, gentle or firm, the special sensitive spots…
- Have some lessons in cunnilingus or Tantra or massage together.
- Role play or dress up in a costume for your lover. Imagine you are Casanova or Marilyn Munro; Cleopatra and Antony; or porn stars – John Holmes, Debbie Does Dallas! What do you imagine they would say or do to their beloved? Talk about it with your lover. Ask if they want to do it. Ask if it turns them on more to talk about it, look at it, plan it, or to do it?!
- Give your genitals names. Then they can have a discussion. Using this analogy of a different identity can help you express things that you wouldn’t normally say. Ask her what she wants. Ask him what are you would like to do. The answers often surprise you!
When you reconnect and reawaken that desire for your beloved – you do it deliberately. And when you do you say to each other “I’d forgotten how good it was to have sex and make love!”
That is the sex secret connection!
