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Love, Eroticism & Relationship

How to love your self

February 13, 2017

How do you LOVE your self? a Valentines Day special post

How do you love your self? If you already do, how do you love yourself more? Here are some ideas to enhance your love, or to refine it.

love your self with tantra massage by Ally — LOVE

Say “I love you” to yourself in the mirror. Say “I am beautiful” or “I am handsome” until you mean it, until you can FEEL you are beautiful and handsome. If you don’t know how it feels, imagine how someone you think is beautiful and handsome would feel, and feel that way, then make the feeling stronger.
Think of a body part you are ashamed of, or a scar, or something about yourself you feel negative about. Imagine how you would feel about someone else who has that thing. Feel the compassion you would feel for that person and transfer it to feeling the same amount of compassion for your self.
Be grateful for the body you have. It’s not perfect. It may not work how it used to several years ago, or it may work differently. I have a friend who is paralysed from the neck downwards, and when I think of him, I am very grateful for my freedom of movement, being able to walk, dance, scratch myself, and enjoy life fully
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Compassion exercise from Avatar:
Spoil yourself like a seven year old child. What did you love doing when you were a kid? What did you want to do that you could then, that you can now? Treat yourself to an icecream, go for a walk in the park, go fishing, read a book out loud.
Change your self talk. When you look in the mirror, be aware and listen to what you say to your self. Listen to yourself and if you hear the negative words in your head, shut your eyes. Think of the opposite – love your breasts, chest, body shape, scars and bruises, lumps and bumps, hairiness or lack of hair. Now change your judgement from “too big/small” to “the right size and shape for me”. My girlfriend used to say “I may have small breasts, but I have racy nipples!” Then open your eyes and see your beauty, your possibilities, your radiance reflected there.

Song

I love myself the way I am,

There’s nothing I need to change.

I’ll always be the perfect me,

There’s nothing to rearrange.

I’m beautiful and capable,

Of being the best me I can,

And I love myself just the way I am.

What Do Women Really Want?

August 30, 2016

What do women want?

Alan Pease said “Men give love to get sex and women give sex to get love” Or is it the other way around? What do women really want?

Many men tell me they would like to “understand” women, how to please them, pleasure them and “make” them orgasm and enjoy sex.

Women often just need to feel loved – in many different ways – by words (I love you), touch and stroking, gifts (chocolate, jewellery, flowers, being pampered), quality time (going out to dinner or a show) or being of service (good surprises or doing special unexpected things that they like).

Women show their love to a man by preparing good food, doing housework, creating beauty and harmony.

Honesty and trust are important to both sides of a relationship, to enhance your love. Forgiveness is an important aspect of a loving relationship.

foregiveness is the fragrance that flowers give when they are crushed — Forgiveness is the fragrance that flowers give when they are crushed

It’s all about loving her like a goddess

Jaded by men who had deceived me, one day I met a sexy Scorpio woman at a spiritual meditation group in Sydney. She invited me to see ‘The Vagina Monologues’ with her and afterwards she invited me to her place ‘for coffee’. We enjoyed a nine-month relationship together, during which I learned many things about a woman’s changeable mood and shifting feelings, both physical and mental. I learned, explored and discovered many different ways of pleasuring a woman, such as gently scratching her back, nibbling her neck and treating her like a goddess.

Women love to be romanced, handled as gently as the petals on the roses you give them. She loves to be honoured as a goddess – some examples are gifts, dinner, dancing, asking permission, stroking gently with feathers as well as wild passionate sex!

What drives her crazy with desire one night may be ineffective the next night, so you need to learn lots of different ways to please her! If all else fails, just ASK her what she wants! It’s SO much easier than trying to guess.

Learning about and loving her anatomy

Yonis are like precious flowers. They need to be handled gently as they can be as fragile as the woman who owns them. They are beautiful and need to be adored. They are powerful and need to be respected. They are unique and need to be desired.

Yoni-flowers copy — yoni flowers My Tantra Massage

Too often we make love in the dark and don’t look at each other’s genitals. It’s a wonderful experience to explore another person’s body with soft lighting and look at their genitals with respect, wonder and awe. What an amazing creation!

What is making love? It’s what a woman does when a man is bonking her…
Allan Pease

The Ultimate Pleasure

What do women want? They want to be teased; to be breathed; to be respected in this present moment of now; to be touched, stroked, tickled, held and made love to, sometimes slowly and gently, sometimes hard and fast; and to have connection, rapport and intimacy. They want to feel safe to be vulnerable.

What do women really want? Amore, more love, that sweet euphoria, the indefinable feeling of union with her lover, her mate, her soul and the divine. To be cherished and cared for, protected, pampered and loved – physically, mentally and spiritually, body, mind and soul – totally.

LOVE

What does your lover want? Do you really know? If you do know exactly how to pleasure her, is there more you can learn? Does she even know all the ways she likes to be pleasured?

Do you still want to make love no matter how long you’ve known each other? Do you want to try something different? If you want to deepen your relationship or re-ignite the spark, Tantra is a wonderful way to do it!

This was taken from my ebook “What Women Really Want”

My book “What Women Really Want” is now available from Amazon HERE

Contact Ally for more information about Tantra

Dive deep into a Love that is beyond relationships — What do women want?

Your soul is so close to mine – that what you dream, I know – I know everything you think of – your heart is so close to mine. Rumi

The Magic of Breathing

August 17, 2016

Conscious Breathing is a good skill to have. Awareness of your breathing helps you control your state of mind, release anxiety, and tune in to your body.
If you don’t breathe, you die!

Pranayama

Pranayama is a Sanskrit word meaning “breath control.” The word is composed from two Sanskrit words: prana meaning life force (noted particularly as the breath), and either yama (to restrain or control the prana, implying a set of breathing techniques where the breath is intentionally altered in order to produce specific results) or the negative form ayāma, meaning to extend or draw out (as in extension of the life force). It is a yogic discipline with origins in ancient India. (Wikipedia)

As you become aware of your breathing, you can “play” with it:

Colour your breath – imagine your breath is coloured, coming into your body through your nose, down into your lungs, circulating through your body and going out through your mouth
Count your breath – breathe in for 3 counts, hold for 3 counts, exhale for 3 counts. And vary it for longer or shorter
See your breath – imagine the rainbow colours of your chakras as you breathe in and upwards through each of them and see the colour go out of the Crown Chakra at the top of your head
Feel your breath on your lips and nose as you breathe in and out
Hear your breath – make a sound when breathing out – a sigh, a moan, om or a hum. Or repeat an affirmation (I love myself) or mantra (Om mane padme hum)
Control your breath – both holding your breath in and holding it when breathing out.

Conscious Breathing – exercise

Moving energy around your body with your breath and awareness is the most important part of Tantra and control. Take this exercise nice and slow, allowing yourself to breathe in and out a few times at each stage. Be careful not to strain. If you feel dizzy or light-headed, just breathe normally for a while.

Start by becoming aware of your breath, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Feel the gentle touch of your breath on your lips, and the tip of your nose, as you breathe in and out.
Taste the air on your tongue when you exhale through your mouth
Tune into the feeling of the inside of your nose as you breathe in – the hairs, the space, and your nostrils.
Let your breath become deeper, and begin to allow yourself to make a sound as you breath out. Vary the exhaled sound, eg ‘aah’, ‘mmm’ or ‘um’, louder or softer, sweeter or growlier!
Imagine that you are breathing in to your genitals and breathe out towards your fingers and toes.
As you inhale, feel fresh new energy coming into your body. As you exhale, imagine you are releasing old energy, thoughts and worries.
Experiment with holding your breath after you breathe in, eg inhale to a count of three, hold for three, exhale for three. As long as you keep it flowing.

Feminine Power

June 1, 2016

Kuan Yin, Durga and the Dragon are symbols of Feminine Power

Feminine power is symbolised by goddesses in many religions legends and native stories and belief systems. I find similarities between Kuan Yin, Durga and Dragons.

Kuan Yin

I love Quan Yin, Goddess of Compassion and Mercy. I have always identified with her. Here is a photo of my beautiful Quan Yin statue

Feminine Power - Kwan Yin statue — Kuan Yin statue

I used to see statues and pictures of Kuan Yin sitting or standing still. She was always just THERE in the same place, not moving.

Kwan Yin seated

And in 2015 Janet Schwarz Introduced me to Kuan Yin riding a dragon through the water – the movement is powerful, the movement is fluid, like feminine energy.

Feminine Power - Kwan Yin riding the dragon in the water — Kwan Yin riding the dragon in the water

Durga

And also I learnt about Durga in a workshop in Brisbane in December last year with Chameli, of Awakening Women – she is dark skinned and rides a tiger, she is multi-tasking with all her arms holding symbols of power.

Feminine Power - Durga riding the tiger — Durga riding the tiger

She does not fight the beast, she rides its powerful energy, seemingly without reins or control, balancing gracefully on its back. Durga comes with joy cos she knows why she’s here and knows her strong power. She is the marriage of love and truth and she won’t compromise. The key to Feminine Power is to ride the energy and direct it, not force it or give it up. It is not static or stationary, it is always moving, like a wave… flowing like water … so float with it, don’t resist it or try to swim against the current, just ride it on your surfboard, hanging ten, on the edge of the wave, for as long as you want to… Enjoy!

Dragons

Dragons also symbolise feminine power. They are powerful, breathe fire, often can fly, have clear vision and often can see all around themselves, have huge mouths and teeth and when they talk they can be fierce, like Kali, courageous like Durga or wise like Kuan Yin. It’s all the things that men often fear about women – the wild untamed energy, the raw sexual energy of their yoni, the strong, sometimes cruel, sometimes kind, words that come out of their mouths, the mysterious feminine essence and the power of nurturing a baby inside their body for 9 months. Recently in “Game of Thrones”, we have heard about Kalise, the “Mother of Dragons”

So Kuan Yin rides the Dragon, on top of the water, symbolising her power over earth, water and nature – the spiritual power of unconditional love. True Power comes from love, compassion and nature. It’s a power which can be used for the greater good. Durga rides the Tiger or Lion, to show her courage.

Here is Kuan Yin and the Dragon – the two parts of the feminine energy – beauty, softness and love; wild, uncontrollable and powerful. The yin and yang of woman, the balance that we all wish for.

During my research about Kuan Yin I learnt that “It is interesting that as we go deeper into this story, Her story, we find the word Ku coming up more often: Hunab Ku, Kukulkan, Bolon Yokte Ku and now Kuan Yin. This is of course no accident but takes us back into the sacred female element as we will see, from the deregotary word for ‘cunt’ we move back to Ku as germanic root word for a hollow place, and we find that Ku at root suggets the essence of the feminine power – the womb and the source of the kundalini fiery serpent-dragon that may be taught to rise from the lower body where it is at home. So we find the Milky Way serpent dragon exists in the human body too!” (from http://www.galactic-centre-2012.com)

Here is a prayer from Kuan Yin

May the peace of God be upon this household.
May the love of God be in your hearts.
May the light of God be in your souls.
May the wisdom of God be in your minds.
May the virtue and purity of God be in your feelings.
May the strength and vitality of God be among the members of your household.
May the health and well being of God be manifest through the bodies, the garments which you wear.
May the grace of God be in your worship.
May the talents and genius of God be manifest through your senses.
May the fullness of the victory of your own God plan be manifest through your souls and the close of your earth life!

(As said by Kuan Yin)

Feminine Power - Kuan yin on green dragon with legs — Kuan Yin on green dragon

ShangriLa Kwan Yin painting 2012 — Kuan Yin painting in Bali

Shakti’s Cave – Part 4 – Shakti massage

May 24, 2016

Shakti Massage in Shakti’s Cave – Part 4

written by Shiva at Mt Arunachala in India

Shakti turns… She laughs. Shakti is happy!

She holds up both arms outstretched and commands the fire to subside, to close down, its flames shrinking until they are only a small single flame floating above a mound of charcoal and ash.

She commands me to stand she slowly walks around to stand in front of me. She kneels down with both hands cupped she scoops up some ash from the fire. She breathes onto the ash, chanting some soft gentle words in her secret language and while looking into my eyes.

Standing naked before her, my legs slightly spread open, my proud direct lingam his throbbing, my heart beat pulsating throughout its length. I feel flames gently flickering in the palms of both my hands, a rose opens, unfolds in my heart, and at my third eye and crown appears two shining diamonds.

Shakti starts to cover my body with the sacred ash from head to toe, spreading slowly over every muscle, smiling and humming strange sounds, completely mesmerising and entrancing me. Her divine fragrance fully intoxicate me, she bends down and ever so lightly kisses both my nipples, my heart, and my navel, then rising she gently kisses me on the lips. My entire body is now covered in ash all except for my lingam left completely naked. A bowl filled with sweet almond oil magically appears in her hand and she kneels down before me, her face directly in front of my pulsating manhood.

She smiles, looking up into my eyes, she makes sweet happy sounds of approval and delight, she laughs for she is happy with what she sees. She breathes her warm moist breath onto my lingam, she dips her free hand into the bowl of oil and with the softest most exquisite loving adoring touch she anoints my shaft and my balls covering them with oil slowly, gently pulling me while she makes the most magical humming sounds. The fire grows and rises again…

I became conscious of the gentle touch of a feather, perhaps a peacock feather, gently touching and stroking, caressing every part of my body. She teases and tantalises me, running the feather lightly over my belly, my balls, along my perineum, ever so slowly along the full length of my pulsating cock, teasing my head all around. I am completely helpless, I moan deeper and deeper, completely surrendering to the total becoming of those sensations.

She laughs as I shudder and tremble at her divine touch. Shakti is happy!

Shakti bends down and breathing ever so softly into my ear, she hums her magical female sounds, arousing me to a new level of intensity.

Shakti kneels down and gently closes my eyes with her hands. Although I cannot see her I can feel and seemed to divine presence close to my body. I can hear her magically humming her mystifying, magical sounds and they resonate through every cell in my body, vibrating me to a much heightened state of awareness.

…

Better Lover Playshops

April 28, 2016

How to be a Better Lover – for Couples, Men and Women

in Adelaide in September 2016

Learn how to be a better lover:

Asking permission and getting feedback
New levels of communication
How to connect and create intimacy
The art of kissing
How to be present for your partner
Tantalising your partner’s senses
Tips and demo on how to tease and please your lover.

These Playshops are easy, practical and experiential. Have fun learning about how to be a better lover – for yourself and your partner.

‘How to be a Better Lover’ series of 2 Playshops

Monday night – ABCs of Connection, Communication and Intimacy

Friday night – demonstrations of special strokes for men and women

6.30pm to 9.30pm

Session 1 on Monday – $50 each single or $90 couple

Session 3 (demo) on Friday – $70 each single or $120 couple

Both sessions paid in full in advance 2 weeks before – $110 single, $200 couple

* NB couple can be friends.

Book HERE

‘How to be a Better Lover’ series of 3 Playshops in September in Adelaide

Monday 5th Wednesday 7th Friday 9th September 2016

6.30pm to 9.30pm

session 1 Monday $50 each single or $90 couple

session 2 Wednesday $50 each single or $90 couple

session 3 (demo) Friday $70 each single or $120 couple

You can do one, two or three sessions/evenings

Early Bird Price: All 3 sessions paid in full in advance by 20 August – $150 single, $290 couple

* NB couple can be friends

‘How to be a Better Lover’ series of 3 Playshops in Sydney Brisbane Canberra Darwin Perth Hobart Launceston and other places by request

If you would like me to present these 2 or 3 Playshop series in your town or city, contact me by email or phone so I can organise a date and time with you.

ALSO:

Sat 18 June – Tantra Practice Playshop in Adelaide

For couples or matched friends

7-11pm

put your new skills into practise
connect with like-minded people and
learn more about Tantra.

Couple $70, Men $50, Women $30

More information HERE. Booking HERE

Shakti’s Cave – Part 3

March 10, 2016

Shakti’s Cave – Part 3

written by Shiva at Mt Arunachala in India

At the back of Shakti’s cave there is a small alcove. I did not see at first, and it is as if it has just appeared. I see that standing within it is a very beautiful, very old and ornate lingam and yoni statue, all black and shiny, glistening from the fire’s flames.

Shakti now moves slowly over to the alcove in her slow rhythmic dance, and as she starts to dance to the lingam, so I can only see her from behind. She holds it with both hands while she sways from side to side, slowly moving up and down, her hands also lovingly adoringly moving up and down its full length. She hums and sings the most beautifully enchanting sounds and songs, in praise of its power.

She adorns its base with sweet jasmine flowers that she plucks from her hair, bowing down in honour of its strength, its life-giving force.

***

From behind she is the most beautiful sight to behold. She lifts up her skirt to around her waist and slowly slowly and she still holds the lingam with both hands she seductively, sensually lowers herself down exposing her yoni’s pouting lips to me. She looks over her shoulder at me, looking straight into my eyes, making erotic sounds of pleasure and delight.

I bow down with both arms outstretched to touch the floor. Chanting the words “Om Namah Shivaya!” I honour her in all of her divinity, worshipping the male, the glory of the god.

“Om Shakti Hum”

to be continued …

Shakti’s Cave – part 2

February 21, 2016

Shakti’s Cave – Part 2

written by Shiva at Mt Arunachala in India

Shakti reappears…

Now she is holding an ancient bell which she holds to her heart between her naked breasts, and she chimes it 9 times. She is standing right before me, looking down into my eyes. She’s naked except for a most magically deep scarlet skirt of the finest transparent silk. It is lined with exquisite glittering gold thread running down in lines from her waist to her feet.

I see the flames of the fire dancing through her skirt between her legs, her inner thighs and calves aglow with the flames golden light. Her whole body glistens with perfumed oil. Her fingers are covered, adorned with rings of gold and silver, jewels of ruby emerald diamond on everyone. Necklaces hang down, pearls and Moonstone’s grace her voluptuous swelling naked full breasts. Silver anklets covered in tiny bells adorn her ankles. Around her waist is a silver serpent, and at her belly just below the navel the snake has its tail in its mouth.

She has a single fine strand of silver and encircling her head and at the centre of her third eye hangs the most exquisite pink diamond, yoni shaped, glittering and reflecting from within, its magical light down into my being.

Shakti smiles…

Ever so slowly, she starts to dance, all the while looking into my eyes, her hypnotic kohl-lined eyes mesmerising my being. She dances around the fire, sometimes twirling and spinning, swaying her hips, her whole body writing, undulating, shaking, stamping her feet upon the floor of the cave.

Her jewels and bracelets all tinkling and chiming a subtle metallic beat of their own. Her beautiful full swelling breasts glisten and sway with her rhythm, she smiles at me, delighting in my arousal and complete adoration of every inch of her exotic being. Shakti is happy and she laughs, making the most magical humming sounds and intonations.

A delicious heat arises throughout my whole body, even though I am sitting cross-legged on the floor smiling, my manhood stands totally hard and erect, fully aroused and proudly awakened, pulsating and throbbing with the sacred heat arising upwards, through my body. Divine desire and warmth continues upwards through my centre, through my beating heart, up into my third eye and Crown. I start to hum and chant strange yet familiar sounds responding to her sounds, we become one through the rhythm and sound.

Shakti is happy and she laughs aloud.

to be continued…

Shakti Mat for energy relaxation and healing

January 28, 2016

About the Shakti Mat

The Shakti Mat™ is a modern user friendly “bed of nails” that has fantastic scientifically proven results on tension and stress relief. The 6,000 points of acupressure on the Shakti Mat makes it an very efficient tool in resolving tension and administering deep relaxation. It both increases blood circulation and promotes massive release of endorphins (and other feel good hormones), which result in a state of meditative relaxation. The Shakti Mat can be of help when suffering from low levels of energy, high levels of stress, insomnia, tension pain, migraine, lumbago, sciatica, depression, and much more.

The ORANGE colour has a subtle invigorating feel to it. This is the favourite colour of the Indian holly men in their pursuit of enlightenment. Recommended for all that wish to use their Shakti Mat for more spiritually advanced practices. And, of course, to all that just simply love this brilliant colour.

The GREEN colour has a more calming and healing effect. We recommend it to all that intend to use their Shakti Mat primarily for relaxation and recovery. In Sweden two thirds of all users have the green mat, so it’s a well-tested and proven model.

Benefits of the Shakti Mat

Energy accelerator
Revitalizes
Helps release depression
Energy enhancer

Great for massage therapists – energise people before or after their session.

Usage

Use every day whenever you need extra energy. You can stand on it or lie on it.

Use your Shakti Mat daily at a time when you need relaxation. For example after you get come home from work or before you go to sleep at night.

Use your Shakti Mat every day for at least ten days to feel the way your body adjusts to it. Start off with 5 or 10 minutes and gradually increase the time.

How it works

Standing or lying on your Shakti mat is like an acupressure treatment. It can be used on any part of your body to release muscle tension. It also brings blood circulation to the area that is being stimulated. This is a very powerful treatment and the first few times you may feel discomfort – it’s just the nerve endings not being used to the stimulation. This will subside quickly after a few uses. If you find it too intense for the first few times, reduce the time or use the fabric provided to soften the stimulation.

Where is it from?

Shakti Mat is Swedish designed and made in Varanasi India.

shakti mat green

Green

Shakti_mat_orange

Orange

Order your own Shakti Mat NOW, as limited numbers are available
or pick up when you have your next Tantra Pleasure Experience or Tantra Massage with Ally in Adelaide

Were $69, now only $50 each, plus $14 postage.

What is self love?

January 7, 2016

Self love is being in heart space.

How do I get out of head space – thoughts, feelings, chatter, busy busy? And relax into my heart and love my self?

Here are 6 ways:

Awareness
Increase your awareness of your body – tense your hands, feel the tension – then relax them and feel the release. Screw up your face and hold your breath, then relax and smile. Stretch out one leg and circle your foot, be aware of your foot moving; then stretch the other leg out and circle the other foot, awareness in your toes. Rub your hand on your tummy if you are sitting down, on your buttock or thigh if you are standing, feeling from the inside, being aware of the sensations only. Be aware of loving your body’s movement and stillness. Send gratitude and love to your body for the way it automatically responds to your thoughts.
Breath
Sit quietly, placing one hand on your heart and the other on your belly. Breathe out into your belly, feel it rise and fall. Be aware of your breath going in and out through your mouth and nose. Take 20 breaths, imagining your breath coming in through your belly and circulating up to your heart – loving your self.
Chanting meditation
Use Indian mantras or your favourite TV jingle, or a favourite song or poem. Out loud is best. Also humming works, or whispering. When you can hear it, the sound resonates.
When you are in a group eg saying AUM or singing, the sound amplifies, and the energy is stronger.
When you meditate on the repetitive sound, it can take you away from your thoughts and worries, and bring you into the present moment, ready to love your self.
Dancing and movement
Dancing is a good way to love your self. When you dance you can be lost in the moment. Free flow dancing is great exercise and a good way to release tension and relax your whole body. Movement, even swaying as you are sitting, can release tension so that you can relax, enjoy the moment and love your self.
Massage and stroking
I love touch, massage and stroking, so my biased opinion is also for you to stroke your self lovingly. Caress your face, your hair, your head, as if you were caressing your lover. You are! Then extend the touch to your arms and shoulders, stroke down your torso, your body, breasts, legs toes and feet. You can use soft fabrics like velvet, or find a feather to stroke yourself with for a different feeling. Massage that love in!
Voyeur
If you want to really stretch loving your self and your physical body – stand in front of a full length mirror and look at yourself – lovingly. Praise all the parts of your body you normally criticise. Stroke, massage, preen, and love that wonderful sexy person in the mirror! Watch what happens to your face and how you feel about your self afterwards…

Meditation is another way to get in touch with your self and love your self.

Use a candle to look at – focus on the flame and watch your thoughts go by – coming back to the contemplation of the candle.
Use the smell of incense to waft you away into a meditative reverie.
Read a book and love your self to be lost in the world of your imagination.
Slowly touch and stroke your body for self pleasure, whispering positive loving words of love eg
- I love my legs which carry me through life
- I appreciate my hands to feel my body
- I love my skin, its softness and hardness and hairiness
- I enjoy my genitals being gently stroked and held
- I love my eyes to see sunsets sunrises and people I love
- I love my self
- I love me, I do.

If you would like to love your self more, pamper your self, and combine 3 of the 6 ways above, contact me for a Tantra Massage! Bookings HERE and my Schedule HERE.

Ally Thomas 2016